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Into the Future
[ Feb 8, 2008 ]
 
Jayson "The Candyman" Polad spends 8 years of a 15 year stint in Joliet. Charges? Just bein a cat. Breaks out of prison the day before his release to see the Cubs lose game 7 in the World Series in 2016. But has an amazing adventure along the way. Breaks back into prison with the help of Charles Grodin, a ferrari, and a dress. Its a long story.

Jim "Tex" Wechman spends his silver years raising cattle on a dude ranch. Later strikes black gold and moves to Beverly. Beverly Illinois, that is. Crack pipes. Seedy bars.

Tank Repo releases his long awaited solo project 'Order in the Choat' which becomes a cult hit with the Ingwie crowd. In a rage, releases the followup 'The Cereal Fornicator' which is bought up by Clown-O's breakfast company jingle department. Last seen harrassing hippies outside the Side Street Saloon.

Fred 'Fats' Loniello is tragically wounded in the 2nd Franco-Prussian war of 2010. Emotionally wounded that is. Goes bankrupt in 2013 waiting for wedding gifts. Further emotional trauma ensues. Strikes it rich in 2014 when FireFly patent is bought by Parker Brothers.

Club Dario is sued by Club Dario (Los Angeles) and loses rights to his name. His lawyer is largely thought to have cost him the case by refusing to wear pants. Flitters aimlessly from name to name before settling on Danger Danio. Oddly this becomes a major stepping stone to becoming military dictator of Columbia (2009-2011). His grave has never been located.

Joe 'The Llama' Ruzicka finally realizes dream project by fronting "George A Romero's Band of the Dead". After 6 months of relentless practice and costume design, opening night goes horribly wrong when Ruzicka is arrested for killing five of his band mates and leaving one with a permanent limp. To this day he maintains he was acting in self defense, "Fucking zombies man. You cant take any chances. Just asking to get shot walking around like that". Blames his attorney for forcing him to wear pants while testifying.

Mark "E.B." Buehner acknowledges a long suspected rumour that he was born with congenital deafness. Achieves later fame in 2011 producing Jessica Simpson's most highly regarded album. Collaberation ends when EB takes a swing at Tony Romo while screaming about Fantasy Football 2006. Unindicted co-conspirator in the Band of the Dead Massacre. Suspected of masterminding Columbian military junta of 2009 as well as igniting the 2nd Franco-Prussian war. Acknowleded controlling partner in Clown-O's, and relief pitcher for the Boston Redsox.







<Геттинг хаммеред житх Тхен Агаин
[ Nov 21, 2007 ]
 
pinkkhan.jpg <И спеак Спанисх то мы Год, Италиан то жомен, Френцх то мен, анд Герман то мы хорсе>
<Же гот тоталлы лит анд И жоке уп ундернеатх мы хорсе. Нотхинг хаппенед! Сериоуслы ыоу сицкос. Тхе партс оф тхе нигхт И ремембер жере претты сжеет. Иое пут он мы фурры хелмет анд тхен стаббед Иим житх а спеар. Хилариоус. Танк процеединг то поунд тен РБВс анд го то ВИПс невер то бе сеен агаин. Буехн кицкед Обади ин тхе баллс. Греатест нигхт евер. Томоррож же сацк Волга>


Then Again Builds Musical Resume
[ Dec 14, 2006 ]
 
taresume.jpg From time to time there is a band that truely eclipses expectations. A band that can perform with the best and standout above all others. I have been searching for a band with such qualities for years. The following article in no way relates to that search...


After many years of practice and playing in Joe's dad's basement, Then Again has finally prepared a long awaited, highly requested, and frighteningly thorough video resume of itself.

I caught up with axman Jim "The Mighty Wecheldite" Wechman during loadout one night, "Yeah, we've been working to get something that we could give to people interested in booking us, but had not heard us before."

Keytickler, Club "Club Dario" Dario added, "...perro no one really has any idea why we don't already tenemos something put together, hombre. No es como we all don't have nuestros personal cam corders set para recordar our every move during cada show. ¿Comprendeme hermano?"

Why then, would such a mediocre band have nothing to show for its years of recordings?
"...because I ate them all!!!" yelled axman The "Tank" Tank.

Finally, soundman El "Mark" Buehn cleared things up, "Look, first I must say that I am a quite literally a doctor of all media formats. I have a degree in Sound Ass Kicking! My point is this; there is no media quite ready for a Then Again show. You record only audio, and it sounds as if the band has never practiced a day in its life. You add video and you wonder why such cute looking guys are not running a cheerleading camp. See, what you're missing is the question itself, 'What is a recording supposed to record?', and therein lies your problem, and your answer."

Thoroughly confused, I found bass man and prolific hat wearer, Joe "Make coffins not love" Ruzicka to help me understand why I was still standing in the back alley. "Hey buddy, why don't you pick up a few of those cases and bring them up here, we don't have all night."

Unable to be reached for comment were singer Jay "Jankey" Polad and drummer Fred "Frankey Backey" Loniello who were reportedly at Falcos firing each other or talking quietly. They did forward me the following email:

Finally we have something to give to the interested fans of Then Again. A first view of Then Again in high definition, prepared just for you, our fans. Special thanks go to a man who may only be referred to as Oager. Enjoy the THEN AGAIN VIDEO RESUME by clicking HERE.


Scoobs McDoogal
-AAA Travel Magazine

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