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Cats and dogs living together
[ Feb 10, 2006 ]
 
Ever see that Twilight Zone episode where the guy goes to sleep on a plane and he wakes up the world is all different and scary? Actually you havent because i made that one up. Much like 60 minutes reporting, the premise may be entirely false but the implications are too important to ignore.

But I digress.

Anyway, I just got back from a 'business trip' to Orlando (dwarf punching, it turns out, is not tax deductable) and although at first glance everything seems the same, there is an insideous undertone of change in everything around me. Disturbing change.
I feel it in the air. I taste it in the water.

Exhibit A: Once upon a time the Blogs/guest book could expect a good story of Tank/Tiger/EB debauchery at least once a week, generally involving good natured harrassment of Joes employees and/or hippy wompings. I come back from my trip, and what do i find? Pictures of puppies and kitties. You've got to be f'ing me. Something is dangerously amiss.

Exhibit B: Very occasionally, Then Again will come together in Joe's Dad's basement for a rare and arcane ceremony wherein band members will stand near their respective instruments (usually) and argue for 3 hours before polishing off whatever fermented liquid is in the vicinity and going home.
[another digression: after WW2, a certain tribe of natives on a remote Pacific island used as a US airbase decided they wanted the big planes to come back, delivering all sorts of goodies the islanders had no other access to. Logically they cleared the runway, built a control tower out of bamboo, and put a little man inside with headphones made of twigs. They completed the ritual flawlessly, just as the Americans had done it, yet the planes never returned. This sort of almost logical yet inherently flawed response was nicknamed 'Cult Cargo Science'. Ie, repeating an unproven practice expecting different results]
Ahem. Anyway, when i checked my email this morning, what do I find but a glowing recap of band practice. New songs learned (no i wont tell you what they are), parts worked out, everybody happy. Disgusting. And worrisome.


The problem is, its only 10:00 am. Could be a long day.

More on the Impaler
[ Feb 3, 2006 ]
 
Jonathon_Face.jpg Having set Then Again's crack research team is search of more information on Governatorial candidate and vampire, Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, I can now report back with some specific beliefs and initiatives of the candidate. Lyrics for the weeks show will have to wait.

Quotes from The Impaler regarding his platform:

-"I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy."

-"I co-own two Covens: Kat's UnderWorld Coven and J & J's UnderWorld Coven of Minnesota, along with a Luciferian Church: The Church of the Followers of Lucifer. The members of the Covens are: Vampires, Witches, Pagans, Wi cans, Satanists, Demons and Other Kin. I preach about unity and protecting the US Constitution, and all the beliefs our Founding Fathers fought and died for."

-"Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am Governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname 'The Impaler' means. Right in front of our State Capital. Then Fedís can take the terroristís body from the impaling stake. "

-"I will not deny or try to cover the fact that in 2008, I am running for the presidency."


Some personal history from The Impaler

-Born April 2nd, 1964.

-"My mother was a practicing Hecate Witch, and my father's bloodline is from Transylvanian Vampyres."

-Married 1985, first child born June 1986.

-"On 26 Oct 86, when my grandmother died, I developed a deep hatred towards God The Father. 3-weeks after I threw my first wife and son out."

-Married a different woman 9 days later.

-"So, 4-months after marrying her, I chose Matthew over her, and threw her out."

-Appears to believe the song War, What is it Good For? was written by Bruce Springsteen. Weird.


Support this candidate
[ Feb 1, 2006 ]
 
Jonathon_Swords_A.jpg Normally I dont endorse political candidates publically, but today I have to make an exception.

Jonathan 'The Impaler' Sharkey is running for governor of the great state of Minnesota, looking to fill the lofty shoes of such luminaries as Jessie 'The Mind' Ventura... and a lot of other guys i've never heard of. If elected, Sharkey would become Minnesota's first vampire governor. As far as we know.
Carrying the banner of the Vampires, Witches and Pagans Party, Sharkey's platform is simple: crime prevention through just punishment, specifically a proposal to "use impalement to execute murderers, rapists and terrorists".

"As governor," Sharkey said, "terrorists and criminals will live in fear of me, while the people of this state will be able to live fear free."
(emphasis mine)

Bravo sir. I encourage everyone to vote in the Minnesota Governors Race. And dont forget to vote 'Impaler'.

http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/view.php?StoryID=20060131-010422-8301r

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